A (Second) Father's Death
by inredrainboots
Summary: How is the family, including Jacob of course, affected when Charlie dies? In the future, the story will probably revolve around Renesmee and Jacob, though the first chapter is from Bella's point of view. Rated M for possible future references to self harm/addiction.
1. Bad News

**A/N: Hello there! This is my first story on . It may be a one-shot, but I think I will expand on it quite a bit. So far, I have been over it a few times, and edited it some since its creation six months or so ago. It's all me, though - no beta reader as of yet. This story is rated M because of possible future content. It will focus mainly on Renesmee in the future. Characters may be OOC and OCs may be added later. Anyway, please R&R, giving honest feedback. I don't want to be let down easily. I can handle rejection/flames, or so I'd like to think. But please give me a chance! Thank you. :) - inredrainboots**

Renesmee was out with Jacob and Edward was hunting with Alice when the phone call came.

"Hello?" I murmured into the phone distractedly. I was contemplating joining Edward for an hour or so – he wasn't that far away. Or maybe I would challenge Emmett to an arm wrestling match. We were evened out now – it was anyone's game, since my newborn vampire strength was waning.

"Bella? Bella, is that you?" Even though we had talked on the phone regularly for the past couple of years, and had seen each other during the holidays (I told her I had gotten work done as a result of a dis-configuring accident – not too hard to believe, considering how clumsy I was as a human), my mom still didn't quite recognize my voice. Its silkiness shocked even me sometimes, and I had been using it every day for the past two years.

"Yes, Mom, it's me. What's going on?" Her voice had sounded choked up.

"It's Charlie. Your father's had a heart attack, sweetie. Phil and I are at the hospital with him right now. We were wondering if you would be able to come see him." We both knew that even if it were impossible for me to come, I'd find a way. Charlie was my dad, even if I didn't live with him anymore. Of course, we were all in Forks, I guessed, so it wouldn't be too hard to go to the hospital where Carlisle worked. I didn't know why we hadn't known about Charlie before Mom did. And how did she get here so quickly? Alice would've seen this coming, right? And wouldn't Carlisle have called us? Nothing added up.

"Of course. We'll all be there. Is – is he going to be alright?"

"The doctors aren't sure yet, honey, but everyone is hoping for the best."

"Can I talk to him?" I heard what sounded like the hospital's cafeteria – plastic spoons scraping against the bottom of Styrofoam bowls and hushed conversations, occasional laughter.

"He just fell asleep when I left to call you, but -"

"No, let him sleep. I'll be there as soon as possible. Love you. Say hi to Phil for me."

"Love you too, Bella. Yes, I'd like a -" The phone clicked off.

My body convulsed in what would have been sobs if I could still cry, and the phone slipped from my fingers. The door to the house opened and in less than a second Edward's arms were around me, Alice standing with the phone in her hand.

"What's wrong?" Edward said softly, stroking my hair.

_Charlie's in the hospital. He had a heart attack._ I thought at him, extending my shield. I wasn't trying to exclude Alice, I just couldn't bear to say it aloud.

I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath. He clutched me close, wrapping his arms around me as if he wished he could shield me from pain. But even he couldn't do that, and I continued to do that weird vampire crying-without-tears thing. _It's a good thing I'm not still human, or else I'd be getting your shirt all wet and snotty._ He granted me a short chuckle and I felt Alice walk up to us.

"I saw you crying, but I can't see anything else. Jacob must be involved." She said, sounding frustrated. I knew she held an eternal grudge against my former best friend for both smelling bad and limiting her visions of the future. She couldn't see werewolves, which meant if they were involved in something, she had no clue what was going to happen. I think it made her feel almost blind. It had gotten us in trouble before, like when I went cliff-diving with Jacob after Edward left me and she thought I had killed myself. Edward found out, and tried to kill himself in turn, though luckily we had gotten to him first and he saw that I was alive. Edward and I had been inseparable since.

Now, my husband kissed my forehead.

_Please tell Alice what happened._

He explains the situation to her quickly, and soon a Bella sandwich has been made. I am so consumed in my pain, I almost don't hear the front door of our cottage.

"Jacob and I went cliff-diving, Momma!" Renesmee laughs, and I hear Jacob come in behind her. She comes into the room, and Edward releases me to give her a hug. Alice steps back but continues to rest her hand on my shoulder.

My beautiful daughter tugs at my sleeve and I envelope her, knowing that she will hurt too.

"We have some bad news, Nessie." Edward says and tries to protect his wife and daughter from the pain of a loved one's death with the simple comfort of his arms wrapped around us.


	2. A Need to Forget pt 1

**A/N: Like, (I know that word is annoying when used like this but I think I'll make an exception here) whoa. Whoa. The actual chapter is 1,835 words long. Longest chapter I've ever written. More than doubles the length of this story already. . . I'm kinda proud of myself. Hopefully you all like it. I don't have a beta and am too lazy to get one, as I'm not having luck with getting a beta for an unpublished story (because for that one I want someone keeping me in check with grammar and more. Giving me feedback and all. Anyone interested, in that story or this, please PM me and I'll give you more details? Thanks!). So. There will be references to self harm but no actual scenes in this chapter. And I will never get graphic on you. If I accidentally do, as soon as I realize I will take the chapter down and edit it before re-posting. Promise. Think that's all. On with the proverbial show!**

I cry into Jacob's chest, worry for my grandpa overcoming my mind as he rubs my back. I am sitting on his lap in my bedroom. He is perched comfortably on the edge of my bed, kissing my hair. I raise my head and softly kiss his lips. Then, a need surges through me and I kiss him harder, raising myself up to kneel on his lap and twine my hands into his shaggy hair. He kisses me back, lovingly. I tear my head away, gasping.

"Jacob."

"Yes, Nessie?" He is short of breath, too.

"Please." I plead with my eyes. He has never let us go farther than shirts-off. But I need him. I want him and I need him and I goddamn need him now. I need to know that he loves me as much as I love him. I need to know that he wants me as much as I want him. That he needs me as much as I need him. That he will never leave me.

"Not yet, sweetie." He kisses my forehead. "Not while you are grieving."

"Why not?" I whisper.

"You'll regret it later."

"You don't know that."

"Renesmee, I love you. I'm not going to let you do something that will just bring you pain later. What if you regret it and end up hating me for not stopping you?"

"You think I'd regret it? Maybe it's you with the regrets." I speak the words, only a small part of me knowing I'm being unreasonable.

"Nessie, no! I love you, I always have and I always will. You are my life. I will never grieve the time I spent with you, or will spend with you. I'm not going anywhere." He pulls me further into his arms, cradling me like the baby I used to be.

_My God_. _He probably still thinks of me like a sister. That's why he never wants to do anything more than kiss – he doesn't want to even do that, but I'm his imprint, he doesn't want to hurt me, he feels obligated, but he doesn't actually love me back, oh my god -_

"Nessie?" And that nickname, so cutsie, just an endearment he uses for his little sister. I can't take it anymore. I push at his arms and get up, sliding to the floor to walk as furthest away as I can get from him in my bedroom.

"Please leave, Jacob. I need to be alone." I try to keep the tears away, biting my lip so hard that I taste my own blood. I lick it away.

"Nessie! Stop that. You're hurting yourself." He nudges at my shoulder until I turn around and places a finger on my lip, trying to tug it out of my teeth. I yank my head away. _If you don't love me like that, stop touching me like that. _He winces.

"Renesmee? Don't – don't be like that. I love you, you know that, just because I don't think we should go that far yet doesn't-"

"SHUT UP, JACOB! LEAVE ME ALONE!" The venom tears are dripping off my chin now.

"Renesmee-" He sounds like his heart is breaking. His heart? How does he think I feel?

"GET THE FUCKING HELL AWAY FROM ME, DOG!" I know he'll leave now. I've never called him that before – well, besides calling him my puppy when I was younger. _God. I was such a stupid child. And so stupid to love him now, and to have thought that he could ever love _me _back like that. I'm a stupid child, the little sister he has to take care of. _

The look in his eyes. . . I have broken my Jacob, broken myself. I face the wall again as I hear him leave without another word. After a few minutes, I can hear his pained howls a few miles away, in the forest. I have to get out of here. I can't be here when my parents get back, from who knows where.

I go into my closet and change into some sturdy jeans and combat boots, throwing on a hoody over my tank top. I remember the taste of my blood, and on impulse I grab the knife that's with my hiking gear. Jacob thought it'd be fun for us to go on a camping trip once when I needed to hunt. It was.

_Jacob._

I can't think about him now, or I'll back out of this. But this will help me forget about him, and Charlie, and I need that right now. I need to not think.

I run at vampire speed into the woods encircling the house and start looking for a good place. About a mile into the forest, in the opposite direction of the howl I heard, I start walking at a leisurely human pace, enjoying the peaceful feeling of soft moss underfoot.

I need to get farther away to carry out my plan, or I risk Jacob finding me. But for now, I'm just going to focus on the beauty surrounding me.

The trees rustle in the wind and I hear a rabbit scurry off. There is a stream bubbling close by. Sunlight filters through the myriad of leaves and branches above. Peace and a sort of grace found no where else, unmatched even by the unearthly elegance of a vampire, encase me. I take deep breaths. In, out. In, out. I concentrate on holding them for precisely 55 seconds each, an easy feat. I'm not sure why I choose 55 seconds – it just seems like the perfect number.

I'm not sure how long I've been walking, but all of a sudden as I look around it is dark. My eyes, of course, have adjusted to the lighting perfectly. An owl hoots, and I shudder. I know I have nothing to fear – I'm part vampire, after all – but right now I want to know that Jacob is here, and will keep me safe.

I let out a moan and fall against a tree, it's bark scratching against my face. Before it heals, I swipe at the wound and taste the blood on my finger. I begin to sob uncontrollably. _Jacob. Charlie._

Charlie has been like a second father to me. He has always been there – loving and accepting me despite the fact that I grow so abnormally quickly compared to a human child. He has told me countless times that I am his granddaughter and he will always love me, despite Mom's assertion that he hasn't been very adept at expressing his feelings in the past.

_"Nessie!" He says, excited that I have come over. "How have you been?"_

_ I give him a hug and blink back tears as I place my hand against his cheek to show him the fight I had with Mom and Dad. I wanted to meet up with that other half vampire half human guy. Sometimes I just feel so alone, like such a freak. Even though I showed them this, all they did was try __to reassure me that I was not a freak and then tell me that it wasn't a good idea to spend time with him. I have never understood why, though we had discussed it some in the past. They looked a bit frightened whenever I brought it up. Jacob has always been completely against the idea, so much so that most of the time I keep the loneliness locked away from him. He would also be hurt that I feel lonely even with him around. I know I'm surrounded by people that love me, but outside of my family I have no friends. Sometimes Peter and Charlotte stop by, or the Denalis, but neither ever stay long and I don't have much in common with them. I get so bored with life sometimes, which I know is terrible with Jacob around, especially with us being imprints and all, but that doesn't keep me from getting restless._

_ Charlie soaks all this in an instant and immediately accepts it, reaching out to give me a tight hug. We go into the living room and he turns on the hockey game._

_ "Go Red Wings!" I holler and pump my fists in the air. At this point, I look to be about fifteen and, much to my non-sarcastic enjoyment, have been inducted into the world of sports with open and eager arms. Jacob doesn't mind at all, of course._

_ Charlie laughs and then shouts angrily at the referee. I leave him at a commercial break, kissing his cheek and placing my hand against it to let him know I'm going to make sandwiches for us both. I may need blood but human food tastes just as good. Well, except vegetables. Those things should be burned._

_ Fifteen minutes later, I exit the kitchen and make my way to the sofa while juggling two sandwiches, sodas, and a bag of Fritos. Mmm... Fritos._

_ "Here ya go, Grandpa." I hand him his share and slump onto the couch next to him, losing myself in keeping track of the stats and cheering – or booing – my head off with my grandpa._

_ The second dad effect is added to by the fact that he isn't that old – maybe 40s, early 50s. With my growth rate, he very well could be my dad._

I'm snapped out of my memory by footsteps. A wolf's footsteps. I turn my head to see my favorite russet colored wolf looking at me with sad puppy dog eyes. I let out a cry and run to him, burying my face into his soft neck.

"Please, Jake, I'm so sorry, please forgive me, I wasn't thinking straight and just please I can't lose you oh god please -" He pulls away from me with a whine. No. Please, no. He stares into my eyes, pleading, trying to let me know he's just going to phase. I nod.

He runs off and comes back a moment later in cut off shorts. He walks slowly towards me, as if trying to show a scared animal that he isn't a threat.

"Nessie." He kneels in front of me and takes my hands, then pulls me down into his lap and strokes my hair. "Nessie." His voice cracks. "I'm not going to leave you."

"I'm so sorry, Jacob, I just -"

"Shh, honey. You don't have to explain."

"But – but I want to. . ."

"Maybe later, if you still feel like it. For now, just let me be here. I know you're hurting. I didn't mean to make you feel unwanted, you have to believe me on that."

"Yeah." I can tell he doesn't believe me, but he drops it for now and just holds me.

Even if he doesn't love me, I'll try to live with it.

And then, maybe tomorrow, I'll go far away and start where I had to leave off today. I still need to forget.


End file.
